Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pink Taser

There's fund raising activity supporting the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and a flurry of associated emails running around the office over the past week.

In one of the emails, a co-worker joked about guys toting Pink Tasers showing up at his house to collect for the cause.  He happened to have misspelled this as "totting pink tasers."  This got me going.  Totting is a form of tot, a small drink as in "a tot of rum."  So, I replied to the sender that a Pink Taser must be some sort of cocktail. (Or perhaps an adult novelty.) 

A quick Google returned a boat load of hits on actual tasers, in pink, for the woman who wants to flaunt her femininity while running 50,000 volts through whoever has incurred her ire.  One was particularly weird.  There was nary a cocktail to be had, however.  It was up to me to fill that void.

A quick inventory of the liquor cabinet led me to believe I could concoct something from stock on hand and avoid another investment at my local BevMo.  A little tweaking and two attempts later I had something I felt appropriate for the name; definitely pink and it will put you on the floor.  (I should point out that by my second attempt I was half in the bag, so my judgement may have been clouded.)

Pink Taser
  • 2 ounces Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur
  • 1 ounce Vodka
  • 1 ounce 151 Rum
  • 1/2 ounce Grenadine
  • 1/4 ounce Chambord
  • Dash (or two) of Angostura Bitters
Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice, shake, strain into martini glass. 


Fall down.

Denise thought these were particularly attractive in our black-stemmed martini glasses.  Looks a bit like Pepto-Bismol, not exactly a Pink Martini, but fairly tasty and a kinder, gentler way to incapacitate someone.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Beer Heals All Wounds

I was working in Escondido today and realized about mid-day that I had failed to take my drugs (prescription medications) last night.  It's pretty easy to tell; I suddenly feel all stroke-ish.

Being in Escondido, I had arranged to meet Nicholas at the "Happiest Place on Earth."  I debated long and hard (35 seconds) about cancelling on Nick to go home and medicate myself, but decided instead that, beer being an excellent anti-hypertensive, I should proceed post haste to my aforementioned destination and self-medicate.  Five minutes in to a Black Market Rye IPA I was feeling much better.

Nicholas and I had a pleasant visit, consuming appetizers of the Stone KimChee and Tilapia Ceviche,  sampling assorted beers (the Marin Brewing White Knuckle Double-IPA was excellent) and Nicholas had a dinner of Tempeh Shepherd's Pie, extra-spicy.  Nick shared a little of his dinner with me.  Delicious!  Almost as good as my shepherd's pie.

On the road home from Stone Brewery (a route virtually bereft of an NPR signal) I fired up the iPod and the Valentine's Day mix I created for Denise a few years ago.  An excellent choice, considering it's what came up at random on my iPod and I don't entirely know how to operate the thing, certainly not while driving.

The sound system in my Element is pretty good, but there're not enough decibels in a nuclear detonation to drown out my attempts to sing along with Unchained Melody.  Unchained Melody is, by the way, a challenge in "Name That Tune" since "unchained melody" is nowhere in the lyrics, but even more challenging to sing.  I realize that the previous link is to a cheesy montage of clips from the movie "Ghost" but it is a clean audio version of the song and serves my point.  Listen at about 2:59 of the clip and then try to hit the notes that Bobby Hatfield hits.  That shit's just not right.

For those of you interested, the Valentine's Mix includes the following...

  1. A Song for You by Leon Russell.  A song played at our wedding, much to the chagrin of our Lutheran minister (Goddam secular crap!)
  2. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers
  3. To Be Loved by Jackie Wilson.  For a while I had this as a personalized ringtone for Denise, mostly to make up for when her ringtone was "Crazy Chicken."
  4. You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker.  Enough said.
  5. I Will Always Love You by Linda Ronstadt, which, if you actually listen to the lyrics, probably is not a good Valentine's selection, but I consider it planning ahead for when Denise finally comes to her senses and bids me "get the fuck out."
  6. At Last by Etta James.  Now this woman should have been a singer.
  7. Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton.  Actually, I kind of don't like this song so much anymore, because the lyrics kind of foreshadow my sinking further into decrepitude, but enough about that.
  8. The Trouble with Love Is by Kelly Clarkson, also probably not the prototypical Valentine's song, but damn this woman can sing, no matter how much I hate "American Idol."
There, you've had an insight into my feminine side.  Actually, I have no feminine side.  If I had a feminine side I'd never stop touching it.

More later, potentially much later.

P.S.  I realize that it's been a long (long) time since my previous post and you are probably thinking "Hey, you can't just pick up like nothing's happened" but, I'm going to do it anyway.  Suffice it to say that I have been very busy and stressed about work related stuff.  I've now gotten to the point of either nearly completing my stress-inducing projects or else IJDGAS.

Either way, more later.